routine, biketouring, adventure, dream

Get into your own sheets, sink your head into the pillow that smells just like you. Pull that duvet up to your chin and marshmallow yourself into your mattress. You fast-forward today’s outstanding events in your head, you think about the lunch you had today and then you think about the lunch you have to get tomorrow. In about 20 minutes you’ll be sound asleep, but for now it’s time to reflect on your hard day’s work, forget about it, and then rest your brain for the same labours tomorrow.

Ah. Bed

The alarm goes off and you roll out of bed, gather yourself together, and drag yourself to the bathroom. Now you’re in the kitchen. Switch the kettle on, it’s breakfast time but you don’t have the time to enjoy what you’re eating because you’re late…again. Put your shoes on, grab your coat. Well done for losing your keys again, now you’re even later. You find your keys and you’re out the door. Don’t bother going back for anything you may have forgotten, you’re late and why go back to your cosy home. You’ve left it now, if you go back you’ll just want to stay.

Work. Lunch.

Small talk you had with your colleagues went on a bit longer today. Today is a long one, you can’t wait to get home, you’re counting the hours until you clock out. Fingers drumming and you fancy snacking. Lunch was the same lunch as you had two days ago but it tasted exactly the same and you don’t want it again this week. Perhaps next week it will taste different. You’ll be more excited about it if you wait longer until you have it again. You get exited for Fast Food Friday. Friday, three days away. The end of the week. You wish it was Friday today.

Home.

Get those shoes off, put your coat away and try to remember where you put your damn keys tonight. You were late today, remember that. The stares you got as you walked into the room followed by that long small talk. You were so excited when you first started but now it just feels like that last piece of stale bread in the bread bin. Screw them, they don’t live here; you do. Better get dinner on now, if you don’t do it now it will be too late. You know what happens when you start dinner late and then when you want to settle down for the evening it’s time you went to bed.

Ah bed.

You want to lie down but may as well stay standing until you don’t have to get up anymore. Nothing more draining than yo-yoing about the house. You start cooking dinner, perhaps you’ll make more so you can eat the rest for lunch tomorrow. Just don’t be late again because you’ll forget it’s in the fridge.

TV.

A social time, filled with your friends that live in the big square box. Zone out. You want a cup of tea but you’ve just sat down. Perhaps somebody will make you tea? You’ll soon forget about it and be in zombie mode. Ah sofa. Today is done. When tomorrow’s over it will be two days until Friday. You can start planning the weekend then. Why does that feel like a chore? You remember the extremely long small talk you had early. You’ve made plans for Saturday already. Bugger, fell into that. What if you don’t feel going? You think of the best way to get out of it. Just don’t be late tomorrow, get in earlier and make up some excuse. You wish Wednesday didn’t exist. Sleep day instead. Eating food and drinking tea with your feet up without a care in the world. Ah.

Alarm.

Shit, you fell asleep on the sofa. But now you don’t care. You’ve opened one eye and you’re already late. You’re ill. No, no, you have to go in. You weren’t ill yesterday how can you suddenly be ill now? If you’re going to fake sick you have to start faking it the day before. You hate Wednesday. You text a colleague, say you’re late. No time for a shower, quick change no breakfast. Brush your teeth, your breath is awful. You forgot last night. Shoes, bag, coat and keys and you’re out.

You stop.

You are halfway down the street you have walked down god knows how many times. Passed the two cafe’s and met the corner that has the post office. You can see your work. You can see it but something is pulling you back. You hate Wednesdays. Something doesn’t feel right but you keep walking. Guess who’s running late again. You’ve never been late two days in a row, perhaps that’s it. Tiredness. You hate Wednesdays.

Work. Lunch

You didn’t fancy a healthy lunch today. You missed breakfast so it’s not like you’re gaining loads of calories. Apparently you’re supposed to care about that stuff. But now you don’t care. You look out the window and see the world going past. Afternoon came round quick and the sun is beaming down on to the streets and the people. You wonder where some of the people are going, some go into the train station down the road, some into the local shop. You want to walk, but not around here, you want to walk somewhere you have never walked, you want to smell something different from the cafe’s you pass and the fumes of the traffic. Your work smells too familiar now. It reminds you of the stale bread in the bread bin. Home is starting to smell like work, your clothes do anyway.
You start looking up holiday destinations on the internet. Too expensive and unrealistically romantic, none of your friends could get the time off, most will complain about the money like you already have in your head. Who are you kidding? The time you need off is way more than the time you’re allowed. You are not allowed. That makes you want to leave even more. You flick through pictures of mountains, old villages, ski slopes. You want to be there now. You hate Wednesdays.

Home

Work was okay today. The afternoon went quick, day dreaming caught you off guard but it felt nice pretending to be somewhere else. You want to leave. You tried to shake it off when you turned the computer off, you have work to do. You have colleagues to meet on Saturday. Wouldn’t it be a surprise if you just didn’t show up? They rang to find out where you are and you answered in Switzerland. You want to be there now. You hate Wednesdays.

Dinner. Tv. Bed

Back home, comfortable, you stretch out. Yawn the biggest yawn you have yawned all day. The day’s over! Tomorrow’s Thursday, that means the day after that is Friday. You ate like shit today so you probably shouldn’t partake in with Fast Food Friday, one of the only good things about work on Fridays. But you don’t care. You want to leave. What if you just didn’t turn up on Friday? What if you were in Switzerland?

Alarm

Last night you dreamt a lot. In one dream you were in a small room, no door and no window but there was a ladder. You climbed the ladder and pushed on the ceiling. It opened and suddenly you were on the roof. No ordinary roof, however. The roof of the world. You could see everything, the whole world, all it’s mountains, rivers crammed into one optical globe. You felt free, weightless and happy. You’re awake now and in a best mood you’ve been in all week. You go the bathroom, wee, then go to the kitchen. You call work. You’re not going in today. You’re sick. Who cares if nobody believes you. You want to go. You want to be on the roof of the world and you have seen it. You want to make your life better, you want to see the world. You want to feel something other than the kettle switch, the alarm button, You want to see more than the two cafes and the post office. You want to walk somewhere else. Not just a holiday, no romantic destination. You don’t want photos to look back on for the rest of the year, wishing yourself back, reminding yourself how the sun felt, being in the fresh air. You want a new life, you want to be happy and follow your own rules, make your own rules, learn true right and wrong, you want to live life.

Ah. Freedom